EraserJoke
by Thrudi
Summary: The story of how Eraserhead got tricked into going on a date with Ms. Joke.


Shota Aizawa choked as the slimy rope of flesh tightened around his throat.

"This is why," he gasped. "I hate heteromorphs."

"I hate heroes too. I guess we both have a reason to kill each other," his opponent said.

Shota clawed at the tentacle, but his fingers slid off before he could get a good grip.

Black spots danced in his visions, obscuring parts of his opponent's squid shaped head.

"Stop struggling and die already, hero. You were dead the moment my tentacle snared you. Accept it like a good little hero."

Shota's fingers dug around his utility belt.

At first, they found nothing. Shota's prospects of living darkened even as the world around him began to turn black. Then, he felt sharp cold metal.

"I am not dead yet," he gasped.

Raising a steel caltrop, he brought one of the points down on the rubbery coil of flesh squeezing the life from him.

Sweet air cooled the burning sensation in Shota's lungs as he dropped to the pavement. He landed hard on one knee and then rolled as another tentacle shot towards him from the villain's face.

Smooth, soft cloth ran through Shota's fingers as he lashed out with the scarf around his neck, catching the villian's arms with a loop of the cloth.

He then ran around the villain dodging strikes from tentacles that fell to the pavement with a wet slap every time they missed him.

"I think it is my turn to tell you struggling is useless," Shota said.

The villain strained against the cloth that bound it in a cocoon.

"You think you have caught me, huh?" he said.

"You are not going anywhere. Might as well relax and wait for the police to come for you. It is the rational thing to do here," Shota said.

"I don't think so," the villain said just as Shota's bonds slipped off his rubbery flesh.

"Take this hero," he said, flinging something shiny at Shota's face.

The object sped towards him like a bullet. There was no time for him to get out of the way.

Shota braced himself for the pain when the object hit only for his entire body to hit the pavement hard enough for stars to cloud his vision.

"I never thought of you as a seafood person, Eraser-head."

Shota blinked away the stars and looked up to see a woman with stripped pants decorated with smiley faces standing over him.

"Why did it have to be Ms. Joke?" Shota asked.

"Aw, don't be like that Eraser. You know you love it when a girl saves your life," Ms. Joke said.

"This doesn't have anything to do with you being a girl and everything to do with you being far too chatty. Look out."

Ms. Joke stepped to the side and a tentacle hit the pavement inches away from where she had been standing.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but I prefer shrimp to calamari. Calamari is far too rubbery," She said, giving the villain a smile.

The villain started choking, water bubbling from between his tentacles as he gasped. Unlike, Shota, though he wasn't being strangled.

"You have quite the funny laugh, Mr. Calamari," Ms. Joke said.

This caused the villain to choke even harder.

Shota sighed and pulled himself up. He watched with folded arms as the villain continued to laugh until the inevitable happened: he ran out of air and crumpled to the ground.

"Guess I owe you one," he said.

"Great. I think you have had more then enough of seafood today so how about Italian?" Ms. Joke said.

Shota blinked.

"What?"

"There is this great place called Buccino's I have always wanted to try on the corner of 22nd and 3rd. You can pick me up around Six. We both will be off the clock an hour before that so you have no excuse to show up in your hero costume," Ms. Joke said.

"I_" Shota began.

"See you then," Ms. Joke said then she skipped off, leaving behind an unconscious villain and a very confused Shota.

Shota examined every word he had just said to the green haired female hero. He searched in vain for the slightest hint that he had meant to ask her on a date.

"This is why I don't like being saved by her," Shota told the passed out villain.

"I don't suppose you would mind trading places with me or somehow being apart of a larger conspiracy to take down the city tonight. Preferably one big enough and timely enough for me to blow off this date?" Shota asked.

No reply from the ground.

"I thought not," Shota said.

He settled down to wait for the police. He was not moping in least. Heroes, after all, were above moping.

*************************************************************************************Shota told himself that he didn't have to show up at Emi Fukukado's, alias Ms. Joke, door.

She had been the one to shoehorn him into this. He had never agreed to the date in the first place. He had no reason to show up.

At least, those were all the rational conclusions Shota had come to. Yet here he was, standing at Emi's doorstep in a white button-down shirt and tan slacks complete with brown loafers that made his feet ache.

I am not going to knock. I am just going to stand here until one minute past six then tell Emi later that I thought she wasn't home and leave.

It was good plan. He'd even convinced himself it would work, but he should have known better.

Five minutes to Six hit and Emi flung open the door to her apartment.

Her green hair was curled and fell to her shoulders. A sleeveless yellow dress with red polka-dots and a set of red high-heels gave her the look of a brightly colored bird.

She locked the door to her apartment then turned around and grinned at Shota.

"You were standing out there for ages. When were you going to knock?" She asked.

"Let me guess. You had a knock-knock joke ready for when I did," Shota said.

"Yeah. It was quite the fun one too," Emi said.

She linked arms with Shota and began pulling him along down the street with her.

"Wanna hear it?" She asked.

"No," he said.

"Okay then, knock-knock. Who is there? Don't ya. Don't ya who? Don't ya want to go on a date with me," she said.

Shota sighed.

"That made no sense," he said.

"Jokes aren't supposed to be logical Silly Shota," Emi said.

"Good ones are," he muttered.

"One of these days, I am gonna get you to laugh," Emi said.

"That isn't hard. Just sneak up on me and use your quirk," Shota said.

"No. I mean laugh, laugh. Naturally. Maybe next time," She said.

"There is not going to be a next time," Shota said.

"You think I won't save you again?" Emi asked.

"No. Next time I say that I owe you anything I am going to say just what it is I owe in no uncertain terms," Shota said.

Emi giggled.

"Now that is a much better joke then any I could have come up with," she said.

Shota, for his part, mentally calculated how short he could make this date without being rude and glumly realized he was probably stuck for a good hour at least.

Where was a villain when you needed one?


End file.
